Here's an exercise to practice writing more concisely.
First read the following short article, Writing Shorter Sentences.
Next, read the paragraph below and try to identify:
• its main ideas
• inefficient language
While in many nations of the world, its beleaguered and downtrodden citizens are at the present time engaged in a struggle fighting in order to win democratic voting rights, in the United States less than half of the adult American population bothers to vote on election day on account of the fact that they do not really care about the outcome of the elections or who wins. However, it should be noted that this current year we may all see a real change in the political situation in the United States, home of voter apathy, thanks in no small part to the exciting and dazzling primary campaigns waged by Hilary Clinton and her ultimately triumphant opponent, the victorious Barack Obama, which let’s face it attracted far more voters than ever before in the long history of these United States. In conclusion, things are definitely looking up for those of us who care about such matters as these.
This paragraph has 157 words. Your assignment is to rewrite it in 100 words or less, retaining all essential information. Submit your version by posting a comment to this blog. Please complete by tomorrow (Saturday).
Addendum:
Word count tools are now a standard feature in word processing programs. Here's what it looks like in Open Office:
Posts
As citizens throughout the globe struggle to win voting rights, less than half of registered United State's voters actual turn out too vote. They simply haven't bothered. This coming election cycle, however, may prove to be a turning point within the United State's political landscape. Obama's and Clinton's hyped up primary race has played a huge role in the shifting trend. Obama's campaign, for instance, has amassed more voter interest than any other throughout United States history. Perhaps a real change is on the horizon for those of us that have waited so long.
ReplyDeleteWhile people throughout the world are fighting to gain voting rights, the United States doesn’t bother to vote on Election Day. However, there’s a possibility for change. The political campaigns of Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama’s victorious one, have gathered more voter attention than ever before in the history of United States.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like situation is changing for the better. For everyone
Many nations of the world citizens are at the present time are fighting in order to win democratic voting rights. In the United States less than half of the adult population votes beacause of the fact that they do not care. This year we may see a change in the political situation in the United States, home of voter apathy, thanks to the primary campaigns waged by Hilary Clinton and her opponent, the victorious Barack Obama, which attracted far more voters than ever before. Things are definitely looking up for those of us who care.
ReplyDeleteWhile many nations of the world are engaged in a struggle fighting in order to win democratic voting rights, less than half of adult citizens of the US bother to vote on Election Day because they do not care result of the elections. However, it should be noted that this year we may see changes in the political situation in the US. Thanks to the exiting and dazzling primary campaigns waged by Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama far more voters than ever before in the history of US were attracted. Things are definitely looking up for those who care about that.
ReplyDeleteUS citizens making new discovery: they have the right to vote! Although America's voting rights are the envy of oppressed people all of the world, US citizens have lacked the motivations or interest to express these rights in past elections. However, thanks to the thrilling campaigns of Clinton and her victorious opponent, Obama, we can expect to see a real change and a huge increase of voters.
ReplyDeleteThanks to the lastest competition between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, Americans' interest in politics were aroused. The exciting and dazzling primary campaigns between the two attracted more voters than ever in the U.S history. This is a good sign that more people begin to care about the outcome of the elections instead of being too indifferent to vote on the election day.
ReplyDeleteWhile in many nations of the world, its poor citizens are apparently engaged in a struggle fighting to win democratic voting rights, in the United States less than half of the adult population votes on election day on account that they care less about who wins the elections. However, this year we may see a real change in the in politics of the United States. In the primary campaigns waged by Hilary Clinton and her triumphant opponent, Barack Obama, has attracted far more voters than ever before in the history of these US. We are looking forward to the elections.
ReplyDeleteTonnie
Many nations are struggling to win democratic voting rights. In the United States, less than half of the population votes. This year there is a change in the politial situation in the U.S.thanks to the campaigns waged by Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. There is a positive outlook on the upcoming voters.
ReplyDelete